Our hens night venues Melbourne is dedicated to all bachelors as well. A Wedding ceremony is awash with social events, gatherings, and traditional processes as Showers pursued almost blindly by those charged with making the Wedding a successful and fun event for all. Grooms by nature of their position receive a back seat to most of this activity as attention focuses on the Bride.
The one activity the Groom can call his own is the Bachelor Party. The importance of this event to the Groom requires we find the origin of a bachelor party. How did it come about, what is the purpose, and finally what it represents today? Let us start with another name given this time-honored event, the Stag Party. That might summarize it.
By any name, this party, gathering, event is the most anticipated, fun filled and planned event for a Groom. Here he can finally get away from the required “things” to something just for him, just to enjoy and later to remember in the years ahead. Now he is finally the center of attention, not the tag along necessity of the Wedding Planning.
So what is the, When, What, Why, and How of a bachelor party?
The When
The When is the easiest part of the process to define? A Bachelor Party should occur at least one to two weeks prior to the Wedding. Timing is such that in the event a drunken, debauchery category party happens the Groom will have adequate time to repair, re-present himself as a stable, upright partner. Leaving the Groom to stagger to the wedding from a party, a night or two prior to the ceremony is not a good idea. Other than a few chuckles from the men close to the Groom, this timing just wails and later so will the Groom.
The What
The Bachelor Party is a social gathering for men only. It might include females in attendance but not as guest, but as entertainment. Normally we think of a Grooms bachelor party as given by the Best Man, his brother or a close friend with contacts in neat places. The event can be simply a drinking party, a party with girl dancers, strippers, but also can be a gaming event.
The gaming party can range from poker to some physical game as hockey, basketball, or football. It can be attending a game as fans or if the Groom participates in sports then it is quite appropriate to share the moment, this way with his friends. It might be the last “first and 10” the groom will see for a while. A round of golf can be the party with an enlarged “19th hole” limited only by rules of the golf course.
The Why
Traditionally, the Bachelor Party recognizes the Groom as giving up his freedom to be a Man. To mark that somber event friends hold a party to let him enjoy those freedoms one last time, to participate in these events one last time and to tempt him to rejoice in getting down one last time before the clock of Wedding Bliss ticks just-one-last-time.
A more generous Why is the Bachelor Party allows close male friends, wedding party participants to honor their friend as he leaves the bachelor ranks to become a partner in marriage to his chosen mate. Many emotional flavors swirl around that night but all admit that they are a bit envious of the Groom, maybe due to his very hot wife, but also maybe because he is taking a step they are not quite able to follow. It does mark a doorway in life for all men.
The How
Tory for a moment and look at a possible origin. Most men remember the gladiatorial concept of war during the Roman, Spartan days. A soldier went into battle to return either carrying his shield or carried on it. It was the soldier’s honor.
One story is the comradely relationship of soldiers led to celebrations of many types as possible to taste life when going into battle. When one of their companions determined to wed, they held an event marking his change in life as no longer a soldier serving the general but now a soldier serving his wife. It marked a change in how he lived, how he thought, how he fought. They gave him a period to enjoy a bachelor soldier’s life so he would remember what it was like before leaving their ranks.
Is that a true story? Not sure but does indicate the same rite of passage we see in today’s bachelor parties. A marking of time, a change of seasons, and a moving forward in life.
What Are the Rules, What Are the Guidelines, What Are the Limits?
The answer is simple. There are no Rules so you cannot break them no matter what you do. While that is true you do have to live with yourself so maybe a rule or two you develop might save your life or at least not ruin the memories of your wedding.
How important is celibacy prior to the marriage to the Groom and Bride? This area is probably the most tempting due to the “one last fling” concept. It is also, where most will find some regret at a later point.
You might think, “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas” but that is not necessarily so. Think about it. The memories you take with you after that night might not be the only thing you take, just make sure that is covered. Finding that you brought your bride, an unintended present from the bachelor night party is not something that will start a happy married life.
As to Guidelines, Limits this is generally set by the Best Man, brother or friend. The Groom does have considerable influence on the events as planned by his previous life style and ideas shared with those responsible for the party. While not always assured of compliance a planner of a Groom’s bachelor party will normally attempt to meet his wishes while giving the other attendees a fun filled evening. After all, they do have to roast, poke fun at, ridicule and other wise mark this evening so it will not fade with time as the Groom moves forward into wedded bliss.
What Should a Groom to Do when his Party is Announced?
Attend the Party and enjoy yourself. That is all you have to do. Let all others worry, plan, cover details. Before leaving for the event call your Bride to be, tell her you love her as you walk out the door to laugh, share stories, and build memories. It is your time.
Harold Simmons
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